First 250 Words Smash! #20

Very Hip Author: Emily || Waltzconfuoco @ Tumblr
Square Editor: Victoria
Working Title: N/A

This prison cell has twenty-two vertical bars – the same number of Kings Antova has had in its existence as a nation.  The symbolism has not escaped me, though I’ve got a hunch it’s purely coincidental.

One bed was thrown into this cell for me to rest on while the King “deliberates.”  As I lay on this bed, I consider how much nicer it is than the one I’ve got at home.  No wonder so many of us commit federal crimes: the lodging is fantastic.

I stare at the lock on the door across the cell.  Had they not stripped me of everything off my back, I know I could easily pick it and run away.  The clothes they gave me to wear, including a pair of slippers to avoid the concrete floor, are itchy but warm.  Sanitation was probably the main reason for these slippers, but I’m trying not to think about it too much.

On my way in, I noticed that there are far too many cells to be plausible; my hallway goes down at least one-hundred meters, and that’s not to say this is the only hallway.  As far as I can tell, though, I’m the only person locked up in the royal dungeon right now.  I try to imagine a time when all these cells would’ve been necessary, but I can’t.

While I entertain the idea of my brother rushing down here to save me, I’m startled by a masculine voice.

Strong Points -
Right away you've built up your setting without an info dump, and you did a spectacular job of that. There are just enough tidbits for us to understand where our main character is and what sort of atmosphere the MC has been living in, but you haven't outright told us anything, and you didn't begin with a butt-load of exposition and background information. Instead, I love that you've weaved it into the beginning of the story. 

You've also captured the feeling of the cell really well, and raised plenty of questions. Why is the MC the only one in the royal jail? Why is the kingdom in such a poor state? Will the brother save the MC? What is the king "deliberating" about?

Just as well, already I have a pretty good idea of your character. They're not panicking, and everything is level-headed observation, even bitter in some places. That alone says a lot about their disposition and their situation, as well as what kind of person they are, and I feel that's much more important than knowing their name, gender and age.


Some Tips -
Honestly, I had a lot of trouble finding tips to help you out! You did such a good job with your opening, but there must always be room for a little improvement, right?

I think you can hone your description just a little bit more. You've started with some basics in the different senses, such as the itchy, warm clothes, and the fact that the bed is more comfortable, but those are descriptions that are still a bit vague and can yet be unpacked. Does the bed cradle your MC? Is it so fluffy it swallows them up? Does it smell of the people who used it last? Are the sheets clean or stained? 'Nicer than the one I've got at home' gives us something to imagine, but it doesn't paint a very vivid picture. If sanitation is a problem, is the cell stinky?

These are just suggestions, you don't have to take any of those ideas to liven up your description. But I believe you can breathe more life into this world you've created. As of right now your cell is a bit vague, a little blurry. Give us a clear picture, even if it's just a few extra words here and there woven in just as you did with your exposition.


Would I keep reading?
Yes! The questions you have me asking are killing me! And that last line WHO IS THE MASCULINE VOICE I really look forward to seeing the rest of this work someday! As always, though, you can still resubmit if you feel you must, or send us another work! <3 <3 <3

Avoiding Publishing Scams

soulothought asked:

I’m looking to publish my work (after been told since I was 12 that I should) how do I spot the real deal from the others?

Firstly, make sure you read this post on what to do after you’ve finished your manuscript, and make sure you don’t skip a step!

If by “real deal” you mean publishers, my personal advice is that you don’t begin your search with publishers. Start with agents (which you can read about in the post I linked). Literary agents make connections to editors at publishing houses so that you don’t sit in the “slush pile”, hoping and waiting and waiting some more to be seen. The slush pile is manuscript purgatory and there’s no guarantee you’ll ever be seen.

A reputable agent will have a history of their recent sales available on a website or on publisher’s marketplace where you can easily access it. The same should apply to publishers (if you do decide to query them directly). Many agents/agencies and editors are connected through blogs and twitter. Make sure you do all your research before you submit to anyone.

Keep in mind a legitimate agent and publisher will NEVER ask for you to pay for anything before your book is sold (the case used to be a little bit different before the digital age, I’ve heard, but in all my experiences, I haven’t come across any agent ever asking for money before the book reaches the shelves). You might even find someone who reads your manuscript and tells you, “Hey, I think the big publishing houses will fall over themselves to get their hands on this, but first I need $1000 for this editing service to make it even better…” NO. This is a scam.

An agent’s goal is to make a commission off of your book when it sells (as is a publisher’s). Typically what I’ve seen of agent commissions ranges about 15%, to give you an idea of what to expect, and these terms will be plain in the contract. If anyone requests you pay before they provide you feedback, run. It might be tempting, because scam artists are really good at tempting you and they’ll know exactly what to say to hit you in the backs of your knees, but run.

Heck, the editing services may actually make your manuscript better. I’ve seen people claim this, and there are legitimate editing services that don’t operate under the guise of an agency, but the fact of the matter is that utilizing editing services (especially the predators who promise to give you the loot of a thousand publishing houses) doesn’t guarantee your manuscript will sell to anyone, and most people who buy into these scams end up $1000 poorer with (possibly) a revised manuscript that still won’t sell.

So, in short, here’s how you can typically discern the reputable from the repugnant:

• Agents and editors won’t ask you for money until your book sells.
• Agents and editors showcase their sales and clients where you can easily access.
• Agents and editors will have positive feedback from such sites as Agent Query, Query Tracker, Absolute Write, and Literary Rambles
• The great majority of agents and editors these days have websites, blogs, twitters, and/or other forms of social media.
• Agents and editors do not advertise their services via google or facebook or the like — they don’t need to. Any time you see a “get your book published!” advertisement, avoid all eye contact with it.

To maximize your chances with interesting a literary agent, make sure you follow the steps of revision and critique partners I mention in the topmost link. Make sure your query is pristine. Make sure you do all your research. This could make all the difference.


(cross-posted from KSW on Tumblr)

The Inner Critic and Ways to Fight It

I went through this exact same thing in my late teens and my adult-but-not-really-adult years, and continue to have the same thoughts even today. I just want you to know that these thoughts are natural. Creative types go through these cycles all the time, though it’s important not to endure this alone.

For me, a lot of it has to do with the development of the inner critic. As we get older, we get better at what we do, but our world gets bigger too, so we don’t really see our own growth in comparison to what others do and how much better they do it and how can we ever keep going if someone can do it better and—etc. It could be that your lack of motivation is a side effect of something bigger like this. It was for me.

I’ve also heard that, for creative types, they hit a wall when they realize they’re not as good as they want to be. The internet, bless the thing, makes this worse, because now we have greater access to a massive volume of people who write just as well or better, with more original ideas and so forth, and it’s pretty damn disconcerting. That might be part of your block too. It’s a lot of weight to carry.

Or, it could just be that the original reason for your writing changed. When people say they need to be depressed in order to write well, I understand, because writing used to be the best therapy in the world for me. But, after awhile, I didn’t need it for therapy, and I had to rediscover why I loved writing in the first place: I just liked to tell awesome stories that got people as excited as I did.

Anyway, enough about the possible whys, since these could be totally wrong. Here are some suggestions for you:

• Read. One of the things that gets my writerly blood moving is reading and thinking, “I can do this better.” Sometimes it takes me forever to read a book because I very nearly rewrite the whole thing in my head.
• One of my favorite pieces of advice is write for someone. Stephen King writes for his wife, I write for Victoria, and it might help you to write for someone. You’re still writing for yourself, but creating your perfect audience doesn’t hurt.
• Find a fellow writer to be each others’ coaches. Talk all caps about your stories, have word wars, trade chapters, talk each other up. Get someone who loves writing as much as you do and can get you excited again.
• Post to a writing community and ask for only positive feedback. You’re so used to your own writing ability that you might not really see it anymore. Sometimes a reminder helps us out.
• Focus on smaller projects, such as short stories or flash fiction. WriteWorld has daily prompts to borrow from, and FYCD has things like Shipper Saturday to help you develop characters. Here’s a post on writing prompt generators.
• Read on habits and taking care of yourself and stop thinking you’re losing your touch! Find positive outlets and don’t give up on what you love.

Good luck!


(cross-posted from KSW on Tumblr)

On Habits and Taking Care of Yourself

Anonymous asked:

I’m a big fan of your blog and I don’t know where else to turn ^^; I’m having a lot of trouble getting the motivation to write, to work and to exist in general. I thought it was just procrastination, but it’s gotten to where I’ve completed 0 assignments all week and haven’t written anything for a whole month. I could really use any help or advice you’ve got, even if it’s just yelling…

First of all, I’m super glad you turned to someone about this, because I know it’s not always easy working up the nerve to ask people for help. Also, I’m a big expert on how to get myself (and my lovely partner in crime) to work beyond what I call our “brain rebellions”.

The brain rebellion is simply when we’ve fried ourselves by overworking for extended periods of time. Lots of people will tell you this is just bullshit and you need to learn how to “work through it” like “everyone else does”, but if you’re stressed, then you need to de-stress, not make yourself even more stressed. Don’t listen to those people, because, chances are, they don’t know a thing about your inner workings.

Here are some things to help you cope and de-stress:

• Know your limits. Everyone’s different and, consequently, everyone needs different things and works at different paces. The important thing is knowing how much you can take. Never think of it as “giving up” or “giving in” when you reach your limit. Think of it as, “My well-being comes first.”
• Be realistic about what you can handle. It’s okay to challenge yourself, but don’t tell yourself anything like, “Okay, yesterday I wrote 500 words, today I’m going to write 5k!”
• Don’t compare yourself to others. If you see someone who regularly writes 5k words a day, don’t kick yourself because you can only write 500. Your circumstances are likely so different from theirs that comparing yourself only hurts you with feelings of inadequacy.
• Take care of yourself first. Eat. Sleep. Take breaks to watch mind-numbing television or look at pretty artstuffs. Your brain is telling you it needs to turn off for a while, so let your brain turn off.
• Change your routines. If what you’re doing now isn’t working, consider changing it up. Work somewhere else, at different times of the day, in public places or in private. Sometimes our default working environments aren’t very good to us for various reasons.
• Go someplace new. Take a little mini-vacation. Go find your nearest state park. Take some friends (or a significant other, or, heck, go by yourself) and stay at a place in the mountains or by the river. Find your nearest old towns and do some window shopping. Give your brain a chance to think about other things and detox from stress.
• Treat yourself. Reward yourself with something you love but you don’t have very often.
• Find a community of people similar to you and connect with them. Support groups are awesome and the right people can help talk you out of bad places.
• Know that you’re more important than the work you do or put out. You must always, always come first.
• Ask for help. If you fall into one of those bad places, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weak — it actually takes a great deal of strength to ask for help. A school counselor should be able to direct you to where you can find help, or you can always try hotlines.

There will always be school and there will always be something to write, but you’ve got to fulfill all your mental health needs before you get to that. When I’ve a friend who’s clearly been overworking themselves and is considering whether or not to just shut the book for the night and do what they want, I will be the first supporter.

Once you’ve done the things above, then here are some tips to get yourself working again:

• Set small goals. A lot of the time, we think about ALL the things we need to do and it haunts us as one giant entity. Sometimes making “to-do” lists to organize projects in order of importance can do this as well, because then you have a full visual of how much needs to be done. Write your to-do list, take the first thing, and divide it up into manageable segments. Then —
• Organize your time. Work for maybe a half hour, then take a work-free, mind-numbing tumblr break or whatever you please (or you could write or doodle or look for new music — it’s okay to be productive on your breaks because sometimes productivity in any form is what it takes for us to feel good about ourselves). Then take this process and repeat.
• It takes seven minutes for you to fully fix your concentration on something new (at least, that’s what I’ve heard). The first seven minutes are the hardest when you pop open a school book to do homework or open up a word document to write, but give yourself seven full, uninterrupted minutes of focus.
• Train yourself to think positively. This’ll take time. My father says it takes 21 days to make or break habits, but this is of necessity. When you finish your working increment of thirty minutes, don’t go, “Oh hell, I only read two pages and I still have to read 17 and answer the response questions and alkdsfl.” Get yourself to start thinking, “Two pages are out of the way. Now I get some free time.”
• Take walks. If you’ve got nature around you (green belts or anything similar), then take a walk. Negative ions are said to be good for the body, and nature secretes loads of negative ions. If you don’t have nature, then get away from technology (which secrets positive ions, said to be draining) with a book or a notebook or a drawing pad.
• Talk to people, whether in person, on the phone, through AIM or Skype, Tumblr or forums. Connecting with people gets you to hear voices other than your own, and it also gives you the chance to unload all your thought vomit. Just make sure you find some positive reinforcements, not negative.
• Build yourself up. Work with smaller segments an increments at first. Work for ten minutes, then give yourself a break. Then, as you get more comfortable, challenge yourself to do fifteen minutes.
• Cheat a little. Oops, you got to this part in your story that you’ve been waiting for and you wrote for fifteen minutes longer than you should have. That’s cool. You might match your next work segment time to make up the difference.
• If you feel like giving up, stop. Repeat the first set of bullets. Don’t start working again until you’re ready.

Your writing may be suffering because you’re simply overworked and overstressed, but it could also be because of guilt: “I haven’t done any work, I don’t deserve to write,” or, “How can I do any writing if I haven’t done any work?”

Your creative process might be poisoned by this stress. For now, you could do little things for your writing that help inspire you. Between your work segments, look at art, listen to music, plot and plan. Try to keep yourself in creative habits, and when you feel confident again, start writing little bits and pieces that excite you.

Here are some additional links that might help:

• Backhanding Procrastination
• On Editing
• On That Note: Accomplish All The Things
• Breaking Down the Wall: Overcoming Procrastination

I hope all this helps, and thank you again for the ask.

Good luck!


(cross-posted from KSW on Tumblr)

First 250 Words Smash! #19

Very Cool Author: Anna
Super Lame Editor: Victoria
Working Title: Through a Glass Darkly

There had always been strange things about their town. No one really had an outstanding face. Everyone had the same couch in their living room. Lines tended to blur the further you left town. If you walked far enough, everything faded to gray. Unless you went to the airport, then you could fly to either Miami or New York City, but there were never flights going anywhere else.

But most of the people who lived in Ridgeville didn’t notice, or care all that much. This was how it had always been. In fact, it never occurred to any of them that any of these things was outside of the norm.

Sometimes there were the voices. Not everyone heard them, and even if a person had heard them, they often tried to pretend it was nothing.

Amy certainly didn’t think it was anything special, and that’s what she told Nikki as they got fries at the burger place.

“...I mean, you haven’t heard them, right?”       

“No,” Nikki shook her head, dark hair pulling loose from her ponytail, as it always did. “But I wonder sometimes...I mean...how do we know there isn’t something...you know, out there?” she gestured widely with her hands.

Amy rolled her eyes. “No way, Niks. All we have is the here and now.”

Nikki nodded slowly, running a fry through the ketchup.

“Hey!” Amy reached across the table and snapped in front of her friend’s face. Nikki jumped and looked up quickly.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

Strong Points--
Right off you set a nice, creepy atmosphere. This town is very intriguing and super weird, and not even in a cliche sort of way. I really like the little things you picked to tell us about Ridgeville, like the strange flights that the airport offers, or the fact that everyone has the same couch or the voices that only certain people hear. Right away you've raised some crucial questions, and you set a pretty good atmosphere.

You've also eased us into the description of your main characters. You avoided the pitfalls of looking in the mirror or a sudden dump of hair color and eye color, and instead you've chosen to spoon-feed us little tidbits here and there. Great job, because it can be all too tempting to unload that all at once. Also, through the conversation, we already have a very good idea of who Nikki and Amy are, and just how different the two girls can be.


Some Tips--
You have a lot of telling in here, as opposed to just showing us that some people here the voices, and some don't. As I stated, I really love what you have going on with the town. But you may want to ask yourself if these would impact your readers greater if you showed that Amy and Nikki and everyone else has the same couch in the same living room, or if you showed that maybe Amy hears these voices and Nikki doesn't.

Also, Nikki and Amy's dialogue comes off as somewhat stilted, or unnatural. When I read it, it just doesn't sound like a real conversation between two friends. It almost comes off as staged, with a tad bit of reader feeder, or things they're saying just because you need the readers to know this information. You use ellipses a lot, and while I don't think they should be omitted altogether, I believe you may want to cut back so that they don't lose their effectiveness. Same with little phrases such as 'I mean'. I don't find anything wrong with them here and there. I'm guilty of it as well, but I'm also aware that they will be taken out in the editing process.

This brings me to dialogue tags. You have actions in here that can't be used as dialogue tags. Nikki can't exactly shake her head "No" or widely gesture that whole question. Those are actions separate from the dialogue, and would be best as a separate sentence. I would even advise you to take out "mumbled" because I believe you can convey this much better. I think you can paint a better picture for us, perhaps with her eyes dropping or her fidgeting. I don't know your character like you do, I don't know what she may do when she's nervous and submissive, but I'm positive you can show us better than using that tag.

Also, I don't really have much of a basis for picturing this burger place. Is it gross and dirty? Is it retro-styled? Is it a family-oriented place or do they serve beers? I don't know. You don't have to dump a ton of details, but I would like you to spoon feed us additional information so that we have a better idea.


Would I keep reading?
Not yet, no. But I am intrigued, and I really love the idea of this town, so please, don't be afraid to resubmit! I would love to see what becomes of this piece!

Writing Exercise: A World in Words

A World in Words

Exercise –
Pick 1-2 characters and drop them in a completely unfamiliar place (perhaps in the world of another story). They don’t know the land, the people, or the rules of the world. Write at least 500 words of the character(s) interacting in this world for the first time.

Goal –
When a reader opens a new book, they don’t know the world like the author does, even if the story takes place in modern times. The reader trusts the author to gradually and naturally show the setting – the time and place – of the story.

The setting isn’t simply a portrait of a place, but a survey of senses, costume, food, climate, languages, technology, architecture, society, government, and everything that brings a world to life.

The key is to show the world only as the characters discover it, as the reader should be able to discover the setting as the characters do. Refrain from telling or explaining. Utilize the senses to reveal unfamiliar materials. If the characters have never known silk before, don’t reference its name. Describe it, how it feels and smells and what the sensation reminds the characters of. The same applies to computers, or food, or even magic.

Tips –

• If you’re having trouble, step into a place you’ve never been in, or a room you rarely frequent, or simply go outside. What do you see first? What smells fight to be recognized? What does the air feel like on your skin? What about any sounds? Even in perfect silence, there’s always something to hear, whether it’s the buzz of a light bulb, the sound of your own breathing, or even the strange ringing in the ears that perfect silence often creates.
• Dialogue is a great tool of active interaction to communicate information, however –
• Avoid reader feeder: don’t have one character iterate information to the other for the sake of the reader. “You know how we just came from our super boring fifth period history of Europe class?” “Oh, the class where our teacher uses paperclips like army knives?” That’s reader feeder. Both characters already know this information and have no need to repeat it to each other.
• Think of clincher details, the heartstrings of a world that give dimension to your setting. Old newspapers, rotted wood, cat hair on furniture, wallpaper that your grandmother would be proud of, hairpins all over the stained carpet.
• Choose only the best details. Don’t drown the reader in description – ground the reader. Don’t control the reader’s imagination, but inspire it. Hold back on revealing all the world’s secrets at once, introduce a spoonful at a time. While writing, jot down everything that comes to mind if you have to, then revise and leave behind only the strongest lines. Use a little to convey a lot.
• If you’re having trouble picking lines or deciding what details are necessary, ask yourself “How important is this detail to the world I’m trying to create? How can I make this detail sharper? Clearer? More original and poignant?”
• Don’t rely on physical description alone. How does the setting make the character feel? How do they physically interact with what’s around them? What does it do to their body chemistry? Revealing these details also brings out your character, how they see this world in comparison to their own, and illuminating how they react in such situations and what they do with what’s given to them.
• Make sure you do your research. For any setting to be portrayed accurately and realistically (even in the case of fantasy), realistic worlds depend greatly on effective research.
• Make a checklist of the points you want to communicate in your exercise. Set a realistic amount of goals for your word count, or check off the points you hit and think about why the other points weren’t hit.

(cross-posted from KSW on Tumblr)

First 250 Word Smash! #18

Stupendous Author: Shannen
Horrendous Editor: Victoria
Working Title: N/A

We've put the rest under a cut! Trigger warning for gore and suicide.